What do you mean I can’t just cancel?
A new gym, American Bodyworks, will be opening up next week just down the street from me. I can literally walk there. (Heck, I can probably hop on one leg there.) So, when I told the gentleman behind the counter at Gold’s Gym on Capital Circle in Tallahassee that I’m considering canceling my $20/mo, no-contract membership, he handed me two forms to fill out while telling me that the cancellation requires a 30 day notice, meaning that I’ll be billed for next month. Okay, fine, so I’ll delay my departure for 30 days. An inconvenience, but understandable.
When I curled up next to the fire to review the cancellation forms, I noted that:
1. The form I’d be filling out is not a cancellation form, but merely a Request for cancellation of membership. The title, in its entirety, is in all caps, while request was also beautifully bolded and underlined (I felt I should spare you the visual agony of doing it here).
2. The first sentence of the first paragraph states, “Below are the ONLY cancellation provisions provided by your contract.” Ironically, I signed up for their no-contract membership. If this form asserts that I have a contract, then they’re repeatedly lying on their advertising online and throughout the city. Have a looksie.
3. The footer of the form reads in all caps (I’m assuming they think it flexes their legal muscle this way), “We strongly suggest you mail your cancellation request via certified mail with return reciep [sic] requested.” The form also says we should send it to the attention of “Matt”. Just “Matt”. If this form is that important to you, I recommend a last name and a title.
4. The next page is entitled “Membership Exit Interview” which lists, get this, 10 open-ended questions.
It’s been a normal gym experience. I go. I leave. No one bothers me. No one interacts with me. That’s just how I like it.
But now, after reviewing these forms, I sense my cancellation will be tedious and unnerving, and very a likely a workout in itself. Why do companies do this? To get an extra $20 out of my pocket? Seriously?
This is the time when a company should be overly gracious and sickeningly sweet. Why not sit down with me? Ask me questions and look at me in the eyes? And here’s a novel idea: you take notes. Don’t give me work to do, tell me this isn’t really a cancellation form I’m completing, and suggest I protect myself by sending the form via certified mail.
The whole thing smells worse than one of my post-workout towels.
Tell you what, Gold’s Gym — I’ll show up tomorrow and give you $40 if you promise to let me walk.
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Hope you’re well, and thanks for stopping in.
Yep. I had the same experience. You know what I did? Everywhere on that form that referenced them ‘evaluating’ my ‘request’ to cancel was struck through and I initialed next to it. Surprisingly, they gave me no grief.
But the posture still pissed me of to NO end…
I try to tell everyone that Gold’s would never do a no contract even when they advertised it as such. You should see what they did to the people when they quit offering classes, child care and racquetball. They were selling membership up until the last minute of getting rid of all that stuff without telling people. The people who relied on childcare or who only did the classes, could not cancel without paying the rest of their membership. I knew when they went to the “no contracts” that there was a catch.
Anyway, Fight the power! Don’t give into to that.
I freakin hate golds. They are slime the way they sell and slime when you leave. I had a membership for a year and when they started doing the deal where you paid $20.00 per month and could bring a guest my wife and I were sharing a membership. What I didn’t expect was to be treated like some kind of interloper in their facility. They basically did everything they could to make me feel as if I didn’t belong. Forms are bullshit period anywhere. I refuse to fill out forms. I’m advocating a form free America.
Did you get out of your contract?
I faxed this message on a cover page along with their cancellation form:
This fax effectively cancels Gold’s Gym membership #XXXXX. Since my membership is a $19.99/mo. no contract term, the following page is a cancellation, not merely a “request for cancellation of membership.”
Per your 30-day notice policy, I expect the monthly fee to be automatically deducted from my account once more on December 5, 2008, which would allow me to continue working out at the gym until Decmber 31, 2008. Any deductions on any date beyond December 5, 2008, is hereby unauthorized.
Should you need to contact me directly, please do so by calling XXXXXXX
I will also be sending this cancellation notice via certified mail, as suggested by your cancellation documentation.
Thank you.
ps. I shouldn’t feel compelled to cover all my bases so thoroughly as implied by the language on your form.
Well, just two business days after I faxed my cancellation form and cover page, I received a postcard stating that my last payment will, in fact, be paid as stated. No other payments will be deducted. Thanks, Gold’s. You still need to revamp your cancellation policy. I’ve seen a lot of ticked off reviews out on the web, and the positive ones I’ve found smell a little internal if you know what I mean.