I just hung up the phone with Verizon in a daze. I called to upgrade my plan to the next level since I’d gone over in minutes for the second consecutive month. Instead of just saying, “Okay, let’s get you upgraded,” he said, get this, “Why don’t we just give you 250 promotional minutes and get you a 10% discount on your bill for the next 6 months. That way, you can gauge your usage and make a decision then.”

Really Verizon? You think I’m falling for it? Who do you think you are just giving shit away like that? On top of having a really good signal? Some nerve. And come on, guys you honestly want me to believe that the call center guy (the same one who answered the call) has the authority to pull the trigger on that sort of deal? Without talking to a manager? Or consulting a script? Bullshit. And that tone of voice. It was perfect. Too perfect. It had that sincere, understanding quality that sickens you because no matter how hard you try, you could never pull it off even with your dearest loved ones. Damn you, Verizon. Damn you and your generously generous generosity.

This is the kind of call that makes me wish I’d stayed with AT&T and my iPhone.

Heh.