September 27th, 2009

Kids these days. Or is it all of us these days?

Posted by Michael Calienes in miscellany, social media, the conversation factory

3CELLSOn Thursday evening, during Jane Campion’s new film, Bright Star, cell phones glowed in the foreground throughout the film like cicada-sized fireflies. On, off. On, off. Check here. Check there.

The next day, a guest at Conversation Friday explained how her daughter and her daughter’s friends sometimes interact — how they have conversations with friends standing right in front of them while their heads point down, waiting for something to happen on their cell phones.

Another guest followed, telling us how their son reacted when he and his wife took his cell phone away for 24 hours. His son’s physical reponse fell just short of hyperventilation, which led to the comment: “You can’t! It’s my life!”

Have we arrived at tech-co-dependency? Can we not disengage for the duration of a movie? A meeting? A conversation? Is the presence of another human being no longer enough to hold our attention?

While I certainly engage on Facebook and twitter quite frequently, I’m not referring to the frequency or intensity of participation, but rather, to the ability to disconnect when necessary, appropriate, and respectful. In an effort to curb my own use during such instances, I’ve resorted to leaving my cell phone in the car when out to dinner, leaving it at my desk during meetings, and plugging it in to charge in a different room while I’m doing puzzles with my daughter. Despite the efforts, I’d still plead guilty to many incidents of attention deficit in the presence of others.

So, how do we turn this around for ourselves and our children? How do we remind ourselves and educate our children that engaging in the moment with the people right in front of our eyes is more important than virtual engagement with the people we’re connected with through a mobile device? That giving our undivided attention these days is more valuable a gift than it has ever been?

Thoughts? Opinions? Leave a comment. Better yet, why not forget the computer altogether and write me a letter? Or call me to chat about it. Yeah, sure, fine. On the phone.

Photo Credit: compujeramey

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my blackberry is the best and simultaneously worst thing that i have ever purchased. answer emails within the hour, great. constantly getting emails that demand my attention, awful. connect with friends via facebook, great. becoming obsessed with what my friends are doing at this very moment, awful. when you find the techno cure, text me ;)

it's a matter of training ourselves and having our own "rules" on when and how to use the technology. i remember a government teacher who used to say, "your rights end where another man's nose begins." if we take this into consideration, whatever we do on our own time is our business, but when using our devices affects others around us who are perhaps watching a movie or actually trying to have a conversation with you, we've got to draw the line. and anyone in our presence should feel comfortable enough to say, "hey, mind puttin' that away? i'm trying to have a conversation with you."