Today, while chasing after my Boston Terrier and showing off for my two and a half year old daughter, I stepped in a small hole and twisted my right ankle. Immediately, I began hobbling and sucking in short breaths through gritted teeth. My daughter came running.

She said, “Daddy! Daddy! What happened?”

I said, “Daddy’ll be okay, I just twisted my ankle.”

She immediately knelt down and rubbed my foot. She looked up and said, “Well, twist it back twist it back!”

Never thought of that. Smart. Pure. And she’s all mine.

It’s not particularly pleasing when something you rely on doesn’t work, but it’s great when a company customizes their apology rather than slam us head on with a typical “Site down for maintenance,” or a canned “server not responding” message. Here’s what flickr did today. I don’t know what the problem is but I know they’re at least working on it (maybe they’re not, who cares as long as it’s back soon) and had the good sense to make light of it. No big deal. I’ll check again shortly. Thanks flickr. You’re seem pretty like, nice or something.

The term “pork barrel spending” has been so prevalent in the debates that I did a little digging to find out about its origins, and it seems we’ve spent so much time focusing on what the term represents that we’ve forgotten where the term originated.

From the US History Encyclopedia: “Pork barrel” originally referred to American slaves’ rushed attempts to obtain some of the pork given to them as a group in large barrels. The term entered the political vocabulary after the Civil War.

From Wikipedia: The term originated early in American history, when slaves were sometimes given a barrel of salt pork as a reward and had to compete among themselves to get their share of the handout.

So, now I’ve got one more reason to hate pork barrel spending.

This morning I drove by a commercial printing business whose very prominent signage advertises desktop publishing and typesetting services, terms that haven’t been used in 20 odd years except for people reminiscing about how heavy those letters were and how tough it was to make a dot matrix printout look professional. A business’ unwillingness to evolve will lead to its eventual expulsion from the modern economy with only itself to blame. How much business do you think it could this be costing them? Think about it. Would you even get out of my car after seeing the signage advertising services as old as the Flock of Seagulls? Well maybe you would if you couldn’t find a place to print the files from your 5 1/4″ floppy drive.

Using the project management term, “the cone of uncertainty”, to describe the area within which a hurricane may travel has proven a gem in my eyes; however, I’m surprised meteorologists didn’t take this further. Why not the Terror Triangle? Death Alley? Panic Pendulum? As if a storm the size of the Gulf of Mexico weren’t enough to brown some pants. The mass media has the power to alleviate fears as well as create them; we just have to be wise enough to question the degree of exaggeration to which they will go for ratings — otherwise known as the B.S. Bell Curve.

My aunt just sent me an invitation to check out her page on facebook. I won’t mention her age because she’d kick my ass, but I will say that I’m 38. So, the fact that I have chosen not to “facebook” either makes me a dinosaur, or so cool that I can’t even connect with people who think like me. I’ll probably give in to the pressures of social marketing soon, but I will NEVER EVER EVER watch James Cameron’s Titanic.

Although I haven’t yet decided which poster will replace it, my Spitz poster is coming down from my bedroom wall. Only fair. Sorry Mark. I will never forget your mustache. Congratulations, Mr. Phelps. 

Apparently, rapper T. Pain, is wanted for plain old driving. I think he’s laughing in this photo because he read the adjective-deficient caption before the paper went to press.

The headline in today’s Tallahassee Democrat, “Missing teen still not found,” is replete with repetitious repetitiousness. Why not just hit us over the head with a stupidity brick and write: “Missing teen found to be still missing.”

I can’t wait till authorities find Ms. Stoops so the writers can deliver us a headline like, “Missing teen found,” a statement which would defy itself in three syllables.

This breaking news was posted on our local paper’s website home page (click image to enlarge). Have a read and let me know what the heck “suspiciois” is. From this sentence, one can’t tell if the man displaying this “suspiciois” behavior lead to the arrest of a sex offender, or if he himself the sex offender?

Where are the writers? Where are the editors? Where’s the dang spellcheckxinfsfd?