Although it’s a bit much, it certainly shows someone’s thinking differently about product placement and shelf presence. Unfortunately, it’s just like a promoted tweet — all flash (quite literally) and hoping for relevance. Once all the big brands adopt the technique, we’ll spend all our time in the cereal aisle experiencing delicious, fruity seizures.
I just took a trip to BestBuy to check out some voice recognition software for my Mac and found myself perusing every tablet and reader on display. After toying with all the devices (Dell Streak, Samsung Galaxy Tab, Archos, Velocity Micro Cruz, Sony Reader, and of course, the iPad), it’s safe to say the Kinde is by far the unsexiest of the digital Frankensteins. Here are a few things that became immediately obvious about the Kindle — straight from its owner’s mouth:
A few things the Kindle does win on:
Unless you’ve got a relationship with the Kindle that started prior to the onslaught of tablets and reading devices that are hitting the market right now, the thing is unwantable. And when the reading experience on my cell phone is better than the experience on my Kindle, it makes me not want to pick it up again. But what do I know? The Kindle 3 is the best selling product ever on Amazon, and you can tell by Mr. Bezos’ maniacal laugh, it must be true.
It turns out this wonderful letter was too wonderful to be real. Why the thing showed up in LinkedIn is sort of ridiculous. I assume it’ll be taken down. Eventually. Regardless, it’s a great piece of writing.
It is with great joy that I share the beautifully crafted letter below from a 98 year old woman in the UK to her bank. The letter was posted on Linked in by the bank manager, who also had it published in the Times.
The subject line, “Senior moment”, proves to be quite misleading, as the writer of said letter expresses the wit and sarcasm of a writer at The Onion.
Senior moment? No. It’s more like deft wit-wielding.
If I were the residing President, I would reimburse her late fee and invite her to tea, bearing in mind, of course, that she may want nothing to do with us on a personal level.
A humble fan.
_________________
Dear Sir,
I am writing to thank you for bouncing my cheque with which I endeavoured to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the cheque and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honour it. I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my Pension, an arrangement, which, I admit, has been in place for only thirty eight years. You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account £30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank.
My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways. I noticed that whereas I personally attend to your telephone calls and letters, but when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, pre-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become. From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person. My mortgage and loan payments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank by cheque, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate. Be aware that it is an offence under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope.
Please find attached an Application Contact Status which I require your chosen employee to complete. I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative. Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Solicitor, and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof. In due course, I will issue your employee with PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me. I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modelled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service. As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Let me level the playing field even further. When you call me, press buttons as follows:
1. To make an appointment to see me.
2. To query a missing payment.
3. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.
4. To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.
5. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.
6. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home.
7. To leave a message on my computer (a password to access my computer is required.
A password will be communicated to you at a later date to the Authorized Contact.)
8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through to 8.
9. To make a general complaint or inquiry, the contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service. While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call.
Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement.
May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous, New Year.
Your Humble Client
I posted this article on facebook about the Tallahassee Democrat’s launch of paid online content, under which Larry posted this great response. It’s re-posted here with his permission. Thanks, Larry:
As someone who worked in newspapers for most of my career, with the latter part helping pioneer the online version of one of the country’s top newspaper sites, I can say (and have been saying) that this is a bad move. Half of the newspaper site’s traffic comes from google. A large portion comes from referral site links. They are effectively snipping off a majority of their traffic. I do wonder how the current web advertisers have reworked their deals to reflect the drastically reduced number of eyeballs that the democrat will provide.
This is not to mention the recent research that shows nearly 8 out of 10 adults said they will not pay for online news sites. That ad revenue (assuming it is significant) will not be recouped by online subscriptions. What they are doing is telling current print subscribers that their rate will double, but they’ll be getting an online sub. I know many subscribers who are dumping their subscription — and many others who will grumpily pay it, even though they never go online. The democrat will count those as online subscribers.
The real shame in all of this, to me, is that the Democrat is damaging their brand as a ubiquitous news leader in the capital region of one of the largest states.
The old newspaperfolk will cheer this move (and they have), but that only further proves that traditional newspaper companies fail to understand the Internet. They continue to slide down the slope created by underestimating eBay and craigslist and overestimating the value of their product. People don’t pay for news these days, and if you aks for money, most will turn away and find another source for news. What those people will find, much to traditional newspaperland’s disappointment, is that they can live perfectly fine without the daily newspaper. They will have more free time and their heads will be less cluttered by not having sensational headlines and non-news stories forced upon them. They will find much more relevance in their immediate world, the people they interact with each day.
If there is something newsworthy, the television stations or radio stations or magazines or other online news sites or even their friends and co-workers can fill them in.
Trust me. I know. I was a newspaperman through and through. Ink flowed through my veins. But I am sickened by how far newspapers have fallen, especially my hometown paper. I still have many friends in newspapers and I love and respect them dearly. I despise what their corporate leaders’ mismanagement has put them through the past few years. It’s been absolutely awful how their staffs and budgets have been shredded.
Maybe one day we will again have a truly local newspaper — locally owned and operated. That’s a paper I can support.
Today, Starbucks moves to free wi-fi while the Tallahassee Democrat moves to paid online content. More coffee and less reading may not be a great combination, but it just might be how most of Tallahassee will roll until the ruling is overturned.
Of course, that’s only a prediction. I’ve been wrong before — ask my wife.
Here’s another prediction: I give it less than 15 days before web traffic plummets, 60 days before online advertisers find new places to sink their still meager budgets, and 90 days before staff begin soiling their pants daily, bring a dry cleaner in house so they can remain moderately fresh, and reconsider jumping back on the free train.
But hey, maybe the mother ship, Gannett, have convinced Dorsey and Gabordi that they’ve got this in the bag. Maybe they conducted their research and are just waiting to uncork champagne bottles and break them on the heads of us skeptics. Maybe they’ve gazed into their crystal balls and released of purple flying subscription monkeys knowing they’ll return with the wallets of eager local readers. (If that turns out to be true, expect to see a few dead purple monkeys strewn about town (How’d that be for a lead story?).)
Who knows what will happen starting tomorrow, but we’ll find out soon enough.
Now’s a great time to check in on what’s working and what isn’t working for you on Facebook, twitter, and any other social networking platform you’re on.
Is it still exciting? Has it lost its luster? Are you finding little pockets of successes or have you found yourself lost in a flood of time management issues?
Let’s chat and help each other get out of the muck; and let’s share some best practices that really feel like they’re working for you.
Hope you’ve been well, and hope to see you here.
Guests are limited to 10, so please RSVP as soon as possible if you’d like to attend.
WHERE: The Conversation Factory
WHEN: Friday, May 14, 2010; 12pm – 1pm
COST: $10 (includes pizza & beverage); Students: $5 PARKING:
Please park at the BrackenChase parking lot adjacent to our building off Eliza Rd.
Here’s the article that sparked the idea for this week’s topic. The quote that did it was: “I don’t want a relationship with my deodorant; I simply want it to work.”
In the post Mr. Derek Walker, “the janitor, secretary and mailroom person for his tiny agency, brown and browner advertising based in Columbia, S.C.” goes on to describe a conversation he had with his teenage son while eating a cheeseburger in their car. He writes: “For me, the consumer, the message is the experience. I don’t need to see commercials about how good the food is. I need to see and hear a message that talks about the experience of eating in your car. Price is not my motivation.”
In this day and age, with all the technology at our fingertips, it’s important to understand the difference between what the consumer expects, and what the consumer doesn’t want out of your brand or your company. Some things should be left to the imagination and experience of your customers.
Want in?
Guests are limited to 10, so please RSVP as soon as possible if you’d like to attend.
WHERE: The Conversation Factory
WHEN: Friday, April 16, 2010; 12pm – 1pm
COST: $10 (includes pizza & beverage); Students: $5
PARKING: Please park at the BrackenChase parking lot here.
This Conversation Friday, we’ll cover the many facets of one incident that evolved over two weeks.
It’s got it all: ugly marketing tactics, tweets, blog posts, a big social media name, and ultimately, a diffused story that never got to critical volume — and rightly so. Most importantly, you’ll see how a social media superstar responds to negativity dished out by a disillusioned fan.
It will be an interesting discussion to say the least, and I’m sure you’ll have plenty to say during our session.
Want in?
Guests are limited to 10, so please RSVP as soon as possible if you’d like to attend.
WHERE: The Conversation Factory
WHEN: Friday, April 16, 2010; 12pm – 1pm
COST: $10 (includes pizza & beverage); Students: $5
PARKING: Please park at the BrackenChase parking lot here.
A few months ago, Chris Brogan wrote Stop humping my leg, a post about a salesperson at a conference who persisted in trying to get Chris to sit through a demo.
Funny enough, last week, I got a call on my cell phone from the 781 area code (Boston area). I didn’t recognize the number so I let it go to voice mail. Turns out it was “Bobby” calling on behalf of Chris Brogan, offering 50% off the registration fee for New Marketing Experience in San Francisco.
It was April 1, so I was expecting a punch line. There was none.
I tweeted about it, but who would believe it? Seems like a lame April Fools attempt. Really lame, actually.
Yesterday, however — just 5 days after the first call — I got a second call from Bobby. This time he upped the ante by offering FREE registration to the event. I tweeted again. One person DMd me: “You’re kidding about telemarketing calls from Chris Brogan, right?”
So what’s the difference between a Chris Brogan’s “Bobby” and the conference leg-humper?
Chris was at a conference. I was in sitting in my living room.
If I’m attending a conference, I expect to be sold; but when I’m sitting in my living room, I expect to be left alone. Doesn’t matter what time it is, or that I actually gave you my number as part of the registration process at a previous event (seriously, Chris was the last person I thought I’d have to worry about phoning me). Additionally:
Quite honestly, I’m disillusioned by the whole thing. I hope Chris hasn’t joined the ranks of mortgage companies and financial portfolio review companies and survey companies who intrude on your life, wherever you are. Who knows? Perhaps we’ll see ads in the yellow pages, an infomercial, New Marketing Labs Snuggies.
I hope not, or I think — as he suggested regarding the salesperson at the conference — he’ll risk screwing himself.
Thoughts? Musings? Leave ‘em here. (No calls , please.)
Here are the voice messages Bobby left:
Chris Brogan Goes Telemarketing via Bobby by MichaelCalienes
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FOLLOW-UP EMAIL #1
100 participants, 100 ideas, one big brain storm
SAN FRANCISCO | TUESDAY, APRIL 13
Hi Michael,
Thank you for your time today, I appreciate you taking my call.
I’m glad that you are interested in attending the New Marketing Experience program on April 13th. The ground rules are simple: we are gathering our industry friends and experts, you bring your One Big Idea,™ and we’ll work together, all in one room and one day, to turn it into a plan.
As I mentioned on the phone we’d really like to have you there, so we are offing you 50% off with Source Code: TMBOB. For only $99 you’ll have a full day with the experts and your peers and an ebook of everyone’s One Big Idea. Simply click the registration link below and your registration information from last years program and your discount will be automatically generated.
http://register.exgenex.com/gcmregister/gcmregister.asp?C=70000087&M=50001572&h=50228453&SC=TMBOB
Hope you can join us and add your ideas to the mix, and feel free to pass the code TMBOB on to a friend or two.
Thanks again,
Bobby
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
FOLLOW-UP EMAIL #2
100 participants, 100 ideas, one big brain storm
SAN FRANCISCO | TUESDAY, APRIL 13
Hi Michael,
I just wanted to let you know that as a past attendee we are now offering you a complimentary registration for the New Marketing Experience in San Francisco on April 13th courtesy of New Marketing Labs.
We’d really like to have you there, so we are offing you a FREE registration with Source Code: TMF45. For FREE you’ll have a full day with the experts and your peers and an ebook of everyone’s One Big Idea. Simply click the registration link below to take advantage of this special offer.
http://event.nmlevents.com/sf/register.html
Hope you can join us and add your ideas to the mix.
Thanks again,
Bobby
Over the last few weeks, I’ve received numerous pings on Facebook suggesting that I become a fan of this or that candidate. I always click “ignore,” and a few days later, some will ping me again with another invitation (multiple invites from candidates and businesses alike, however, are a whole other discussion that merits its own hour).
Those of you who know me won’t find it surprising that I haven’t fanned any candidate. It’s not that I don’t agree with anyone’s view, it’s that I’d like to keep my business apolitical — not an easy task in Florida’s capital city.
The Conversation Question: Why publicly align yourself with any political candidate if your business has nothing to do with politics? It seems to me the affiliation could really hurt business (and yes, I understand there’s an upside such to alignments)?
Do you fan candidates on Facebook? Why or why not? Are you outspoken on twitter? Do you merely observe? Or do you land somewhere in the middle? Do you know if it affects your business either way? Have you decided to patronize a business or avoid one because of their public political views? (I certainly have, but my decisions had to do more with the tone and intensity with which they offered their views, not solely because their view was different than mine.)
As we head into election season and those invitations when fanning requests and event invitations start barreling in, it would be a great to discuss it all.
Guests are limited to 10, so please let me know as soon as possible if you’d like to attend.
WHERE: The Conversation Factory
WHEN: Friday, April 2, 2010; 12pm – 1pm
COST: $10 (includes pizza & beverage); Students: $5
PARKING: Please park at the BrackenChase parking lot here.
If you’ve already attended Conversation Fridays, consider joining our facebook group.
