If you’re sending out any kind of direct mail, your list is critical. Don’t just blanket a zip code, get specific with your mail house. Give them specifics. What’s the household income? Do they drive trucks? SUVs? Luxury vehicles? Are they likely to have children? How many? What about pets? The more you know your customer, the more likely you are to convert them into customers.

You’d be surprised how detailed lists can be, and how targeted and efficient your mailings will become.

If you’re not using a mail house to help hone down your list, start. Sure it costs a little more, but it will save you money and aggravation in the long run. Why? Quite simply, you won’t be sending mail to people who aren’t in your target audience. For example, why send an interior design postcard to people who live in apartments. They don’t own it. They’re not going to spend a dime renovating it. It’s a complete waste of money and paper.

Why am I writing this? I just received an over-sized glossy mailer to join a gym at a special rate. I’ve been a member for six months, and I joined at that very rate.

F to the R to the E to the E to the….

It’s officially stuck. It’s in there, driving me mad — a modern-day Tell-Tale Heart effect which I have not been able to remedy for the last 72 hours. The only other melody that has had such an effect on my psyche was Whitney Houston’s I Will Always Love You, a song I will always hate her for.

Advertising jingles are a catch 22. They’ll either get stuck in people’s heads in a nice comforting place, or they’ll incite an adverse reaction, like they did in the guy in the video below (please be warned — it includes four-letter words).

Now that I have 2 year old, I’m often relegated to “viewing buddy” status when Mickey Mouse comes on. Mickey Mouse Clubhouse is big here, and she’s not afraid to yell out the magic words at random times throughout the day:

Meeska! Mooska! Mickeeeeeey Mouse!

Next time you see any of the shows, keep your eyes on Mickey’s ears. They’re drawn (or “rendered” for all you techno-sticklers) as if they’re always facing the camera. Mickey will turn his head this way and that, but the ears never move in the proper perspective with Mickey — it’s like he’s wearing a floating scalp.

It’s just an example of how far a company will go to protect their brand.

Now I guess I’ll just sit back and wait for a call from their lawyers.

Today, while chasing after my Boston Terrier and showing off for my two and a half year old daughter, I stepped in a small hole and twisted my right ankle. Immediately, I began hobbling and sucking in short breaths through gritted teeth. My daughter came running.

She said, “Daddy! Daddy! What happened?”

I said, “Daddy’ll be okay, I just twisted my ankle.”

She immediately knelt down and rubbed my foot. She looked up and said, “Well, twist it back twist it back!”

Never thought of that. Smart. Pure. And she’s all mine.

It’s not particularly pleasing when something you rely on doesn’t work, but it’s great when a company customizes their apology rather than slam us head on with a typical “Site down for maintenance,” or a canned “server not responding” message. Here’s what flickr did today. I don’t know what the problem is but I know they’re at least working on it (maybe they’re not, who cares as long as it’s back soon) and had the good sense to make light of it. No big deal. I’ll check again shortly. Thanks flickr. You’re seem pretty like, nice or something.

The term “pork barrel spending” has been so prevalent in the debates that I did a little digging to find out about its origins, and it seems we’ve spent so much time focusing on what the term represents that we’ve forgotten where the term originated.

From the US History Encyclopedia: “Pork barrel” originally referred to American slaves’ rushed attempts to obtain some of the pork given to them as a group in large barrels. The term entered the political vocabulary after the Civil War.

From Wikipedia: The term originated early in American history, when slaves were sometimes given a barrel of salt pork as a reward and had to compete among themselves to get their share of the handout.

So, now I’ve got one more reason to hate pork barrel spending.

Wendy’s went viral. A simple cool idea. Although the acting feels like acting and the shooting was better than we’re used to seeing on youtube, it’s a great first effort. Unfortunately, it reeks of marketing more than it does meat. The line, “is the camera rolling?” is absolutely unnecessary. Guys that age don’t have to ask that question. BK’s subservient chicken was certainly marketing but it felt different. It was the first of its kind that incited conversation around, “How the heck did they do that?” I don’t see this becoming a huge hit, but I’m pretty sure it will be passed along. Kudos to the production team for not making the lettuce burp afterwards.

Crazy Lettuce

What people perceive your company to be — good or bad or anything in between — is your brand. One bad customer experience taints your brand image for that one person. If they’re the talkative type — and most of us are generous with our deliciously awful customer experiences — perhaps your brand will be tainted in the minds of his or her friends as well. This is precisely why companies spend so much money crafting the perfect branding campaign. If you doubt for a second how ubiquitous these opinions are and how voraciously they permeate the collective conscience, head to www.brandtags.net and see for yourself. Do you know what people think when they see your logo? Is it good? Bad? Is it anything at all? Whatever they’re thinking, it’s important to know. And if it’s not what you want people to think, it’s time to contact us at 850.459.8192.

This morning I drove by a commercial printing business whose very prominent signage advertises desktop publishing and typesetting services, terms that haven’t been used in 20 odd years except for people reminiscing about how heavy those letters were and how tough it was to make a dot matrix printout look professional. A business’ unwillingness to evolve will lead to its eventual expulsion from the modern economy with only itself to blame. How much business do you think it could this be costing them? Think about it. Would you even get out of my car after seeing the signage advertising services as old as the Flock of Seagulls? Well maybe you would if you couldn’t find a place to print the files from your 5 1/4″ floppy drive.

Using the project management term, “the cone of uncertainty”, to describe the area within which a hurricane may travel has proven a gem in my eyes; however, I’m surprised meteorologists didn’t take this further. Why not the Terror Triangle? Death Alley? Panic Pendulum? As if a storm the size of the Gulf of Mexico weren’t enough to brown some pants. The mass media has the power to alleviate fears as well as create them; we just have to be wise enough to question the degree of exaggeration to which they will go for ratings — otherwise known as the B.S. Bell Curve.