September 16th, 2011

Legacy Toyota: Getting it wrong is their business.

Posted by Michael Calienes in branding
Legacy

I’ve never seen any car dealership get it any more wrong than Legacy Toyota. Today doesn’t mark the first time I was there, but it will be the last. After a 10 minute test drive and a 20 minute unnerving stay in their lounge, I walked away knowing this:

  1. They’re overpriced by about 15%. A 2010 Toyota Venza with 16,000 miles doesn’t hold a $32,000 value — I know, I was using their free WiFi to check.
  2. The sales manager who came out from his air conditioned hornet’s nest when my salesman couldn’t close a deal right now this instant, couldn’t subtract. I had to correct him as he performed an unimpressive feat of second grade math. Subtraction is always a littte tougher on salespeople than addition.
  3. After my car’s appraisal, they parked it in one of their own disabled spots. To park your own car in a disabled spot without a permit is offensive, but mine? 
  4. Five minutes after I left, the salesman had the cojones to text me.
  5. They failed to deliver a counter-offer via email before close of business as they promised they’d do.
On the bright side, however, they made our decision a little easier.

A couple of my favorite lines the salesperson lobbed toward me during the experience:

1) “I want the opportunity to earn your business.”
I’m on your lot. This IS the opportunity.

2) “I don’t like telling people what to do with their money.”
Ironic, because as a salesperson, that’s your whole reason for being. If you were any good, everything you do would lead me to put my money in your pocket.

3) “I want the opportunity to earn your business.”

You just said that. If that’s something you feel you have to repeat once every couple of minutes, I’m thinking it’s something you don’t really believe.

4) “I respect what you do with your money.” Really? Well thanks, Kimosabe. Appreciate that, because I’m taking all of it elsewhere.

Oh, and the several pages of prinouts “proving” how much better your Venza is than the other cars I’m considering were a bit much, especially when you hand them to me saying, “It sounds like you already know this, but…”

Do paper a favor and go plant a tree.

This whole car selling business has been broken for a long time. Someone needs to fix it.

Posted via email from Michael Calienes

August 11th, 2011

Adidas Delivers Panty Shot in Mini Skirt Showdown – Adrants

Posted by Michael Calienes in branding

It’s a guy thing, but that last shot with the tear was unnecessary. But still.

Posted via email from Michael Calienes

June 1st, 2011

2011 Movie Awards: Leighton Meester And Jason Sudeikis Share A Laugh | Video | MTV

Posted by Michael Calienes in branding

Some great writing/ directing. “Wanna pull?”

Posted via email from Michael Calienes

May 27th, 2011

Hyundai demos Equus’ owner’s manual iPad app

Posted by Michael Calienes in branding

iPad takes center stage in a TV spot for a car. Not to mention it doubles as the owner’s manual. Really smart stuff.

Posted via email from Michael Calienes

May 27th, 2011

Miami Ad School Hamburg Folks Do Their Part to Help Find the Missing – AgencySpy

Posted by Michael Calienes in branding

“Missing Face” by Miami Ad School Hamburg. Crazy good idea to help find missing people with the help of 500,000,000 facebook users and facial recognition software.

Posted via email from Michael Calienes

May 27th, 2011

New! Improved! Old?

Posted by Michael Calienes in branding

WSJ’s Sarah Nassauer visits the Hub to discuss companies going back in time to capture consumers’ sunny view of the past by rolling out retro labels and packaging on products. (Image: General Mills Inc.)

When you think about it (if you’re one who partakes in such pastimes), it’s a no-brainer. Reconnecting an aging population (yea you, yea me) with emotional triggers of our youth makes perfect marketing sense. It’s not about how retro old Cheerios designs look today, it’s about taking us back to a time in our lives. Life was simpler back then. And we didn’t have to post about how simple it was. “OMG Dad just brought home a microwave! It almost fits in the kitchen! I’m making a Salisbury Steak HungryMan!”

Posted via email from Michael Calienes

May 26th, 2011

Sharp Electronics Goes After Men With 70-Inch TV Screen – Ad Age

Posted by Michael Calienes in branding

One in a series of new commercials for the 70″ Sharp Aquos. Simple. Uncluttered. Memorable. Too bad the 70″ will play like a 27″ on my 52″ Samsung. Maybe starting with an extreme close up and pulling out would have given a better feel for the size. (Yea, I realize that was a weird sentence.)

Posted via email from Michael Calienes

May 25th, 2011

Video: Talent Takes the F Train | Adweek

Posted by Michael Calienes in branding

Really inspiring video about “new” agencies in Brooklyn, NY. Featuring Huge, Area 17, and Big Spaceship.

Posted via email from Michael Calienes

May 25th, 2011

The banging. The heartburn. The chicken wings.

Posted by Michael Calienes in branding

I wanted to cover 3 miles on the treadmill. I warmed up and moved into my pace.

6.1mph.

There was this dude fixing an exercise bike ten feet from me, banging on a pedal with a hammer. Constant.

I gritted my teeth, lumbered, slowed.

4.5mph.

Then there was this heartburn. Perhaps warming some broccoli and onions in a skillet for lunch wasn’t such a great idea.

3mph.

The constant metal on metal pinging made my skin crawl. Too hot to run outside at this hour. I had to sweat him out of my system. I dug into some easy intervals.

1 minute at 7mph.

The pedal on the exercise bike finally gave in — or he did, I didn’t care which.

2 minutes at 3mph.

Out the window, two portly dudes walked out of the chicken wing place next door, chatted in the parking lot.

1 minute at 7mph.

They sucked on straws that disappeared inside movie-size styrofoam cups.

2 minutes at 3mph.

They swished their cups in circles so they could get at whatever was left of their sodas. They were younger than me. Wide as a car door.

1 minute, 30 seconds at 7mph.

Maybe they had salads. Maybe that was Diet Coke in their cups.

2 minutes at 3mph.

Maybe it’s in their genes. Maybe they’re fit for their size. Have excellent blood pressure.

1 minute, 30 seconds at 7.5mph.

A third guy joins them. Tall. Thin. Full head of hair.

2 minutes at 3.5mph.

Gangly guy’s hands were stuffed in his pockets.

1 minute, 30 seconds at 8mph.

2 minutes at 3.5mph.

1 minute, 30 seconds at 8mph.

2 minutes at 3.5mph.

I went 4 miles, thinking and smiling at the lies we tell ourselves.

Posted via email from Michael Calienes

May 24th, 2011

Stay corporate — they’ve got air conditioning, among other things.

Posted by Michael Calienes in branding

It seems lately a lot of people have been cutting the corporate umbilical cord and moving into their own wombs filled with fluid hope. With so many grabbing the nearest pair of scissors, I’m sure there will come a time when you’ll want to do it, too. At the very least you’ll want to consider it, run the numbers, see what it might look like on a spreadsheet, what it might feel like in your chest.

Here’s a word of advice. Don’t.

Stay in your cubicle.

Your colleagues love how you make them laugh. And your boss’ anus just loves the taste of your nose. After all that’s what your life was supposed to be about.

Life is nice and predictable there. You’ve got so much going for you. A paycheck. A schedule. A rulebook. A retirement plan. Probably decent health insurance.

It’s risky out here beyond the corporate walls. Out here life is a little like an every-native-for-himself jungle, and we don’t need someone new yelling their own Tarzan tune and using up more tree vines. We need all the vines we can get our hands on.

Besides, you’re not trained. This vine-swinging ain’t easy. And you’re no monkey. You could experience a Batman-comics-style SPLAT! against a tree. Have a head on collision your fears. Get bit by your insecurities. Slip and fall on something pointy.

Then what? Who’s going to pay for your doctor’s visit? You and your $5,000 deductible?

Screw that. You’d have to learn and make time to bandage it yourself between RFPs.

Nah.

Stay where you are. It’s nice and safe there. And they probably serve egg nog at the Christmas party, but not till after Secret Santa.

Posted via email from Michael Calienes

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